Wishywashy.

I hate when I start something, and then I try to start it again, and then I just don't get back into it. I used to make excuses...sure, I've got plenty of them right now. But I'm not going to sugar coat anything anymore, I'm really and truely just pissing myself off.

My friend Jill (AKA the owner of my fave whole foods store, Wild Thyme, who also has a degree in nutrition) came back from Barbados today (lucky ducky was there for a month). This chick is Barbie doll gorgeous, and it's because she eats whole foods, all the time, takes time to take care of herself (ie excercise), and cleanses frequently.

Yes, cleanse. Most people krinkle their nose. She convinced me to do it with her.

Most of the time when I start something new, I'll take a few days to really calorie-load - to boost my metabolism....and to get my cravings out of the way. Not going to do it this time. I'm starting the Master Cleanse on Monday for 14 days, to get rid of the toxins in my body, and then am going to commit to a whole foods/partial raw (and alcohol free) diet for my weight loss. (Yes, she is leaving me for Barbados again on 12/31, but promised to coach me from afar.)

I can't express how beyond frustrated I am at this point. But I'm also NOT happy. I've got to get over the excuses. I know that this is a major task to take on right in the throws of the holidays, but I've never been one to back down from a challenge, and Jennie had better kick my ass if I do.

I feel defeated...but I'm going to use that as motivation. After all...wallowing in feelings like this is just going to lead to staying where I am, which is not a happy place. So....I can sit on my ass and have a "woe is me" attitude, or I can do something about it. Guess what I choose?