Peer Pressure. And how I suck being around it.

So, we are smack dab in the middle of the holiday season, and I am doing a cleanse. I am going to end it right before Christmas, enjoy Christmas and New Years, and then do it again in January....then go back to my strict vegan ways.

I was driving up the Northway to pick my son up from his father and I got to thinking about when, in the past, I have been successful in weight loss, and what has lead to massive failure in other diets. The only time I was ever ridiculously successful was when I did LA weight loss, and I lost 55 lbs (20 of which I have gained back ewwww, but I did keep it off for 3 years). The reason I succeeded on that was because someone was checking on me EVERY OTHER DAY...a nutritionist - going over my journal, telling me exactly what I could and could not eat, and weighing me. Oh yeah, and it cost $2000. These were the reasons I stuck with it. Every other time I have attempted something...I get around friends, family, whoever...and when I decline a plate, or a taste of something, stating that I am on a diet, 9 times out of 10 the response is, "Oh, you can have just a little bit". BAM. I hit the wall. Because for me it just isn't that little bit...it becomes a little taste of this, then a little taste of that...then the whole day is ruined. Then the next day, I say, "oh, I'll just have one more day of being bad, then I'll be good again". Yeah, RIGHT. Nope. I'm done before I even got ahead.

This has (unfortunately) mapped over into this cleanse. My dear friend Jill (owner of Wild Thyme) was telling me about this concoction her friend made to help her make it through the cleanse. It sounded delicious (almond butter, coconut oil, flax meal, and shredded coconut)...and It IS delicious. My problem being...I started using as a crutch for a couple of days, rather than sticking to the cleanse. Yes, I've lost weight, but I'm really crampy, and not getting rid of as much weight as I normally do when I do this cleanse. I need to stick to the plan. I need to do this for ME. I need to stick with the plan, no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

Oh yeah, and in conversation the other day, I asked my friend Lizzie to tell me honestly how much she thought I weighed....and she guessed 5 pounds heavier than what I weighed, which made me cry, because #1, I don't weigh that much, and #2, I've always been told by everyone (even my doctors) that I look like I weigh about 20 pounds less than I do. It just means I have more work cut out for me.

Mel

That damn Jersey Shore dress (Jennie, you remember that thing right?) is gonna be on my skinnier body come hell or high water this summer. Back to the cleanse :)

Oops.

I haven't blogged in 2 days, somebody slap my hand!

1st day of the hard core cleanse - and I'm really hungry right now to the point of a migraine. I'm going to steam some spinach (even though it's cheating) and have a bowl before bed.

I have noticably gotten rid of a ton of water weight since yesterday - I like doing this cleanse because my body feels like it is hitting the reset button - but in the end need to keep in the back of my head that I will gain back half of what I lose....but in the long run it will be better for my body to be rid of all of the toxins I am getting rid of. There are two sides to everything, right?

I really need to rearrange my room to try this damn zumba. I need motivation! UGH!

-Mel

Orange juice.

Today was soups and juices.

Tomorrow is orange juice.

I've done this cleanse a trillion times but have never done the ease in period with it...and it's ticking me off.

I really don't have much to say...but I needed to vent. I'm in a pretty bitchy mood, all things considered...so maybe I should be done now.

End rant. Meh.

~Mel

Sometimes...

After a very relaxing weekend with the love of my life (besides the scary ride back) I feel really peaceful and joyful for the holiday season! I just set up a Christmas tree in my bedroom and for some reason something so silly as a christmas tree makes me feel ten times happier.  I have notices how unaccustomed (WHICH IS GOOD) my body has become to fried foods it makes me really sick so I was glad to eat broccoli and only half of my sandwich at dinner.

However the bad news is...this week is going to be pure hell for me...Its my solo week of student teaching (which I am not nervous about it is just a lot of extra work) and also all of my Teacher Work Sample is due Friday so I have to get working on that drastically and fear it might intervene with my workouts

We shall see!!!
-Jenzy

F&$k you, news article.

I hate articles that are titled: "Study says even being a bit overweight can be risky". http://www.timesunion.com/news/article/Study-says-even-being-a-bit-overweight-is-risky-851466.php

I'll never be at the ideal weight they suggest for me. Not unless I have a breast and butt reduction.

Day 1 of the master cleanse...all raw fruits and veggies. I couldn't be happier! I swear I was a rabbit in a past life. I feel ok - a little dizzy - definitely from lack of processed carbs. Tomorrow is soups and juices...and I have a girl date at Moes at 330 so that's going to be challenging :(

I hope I get through the next 14 days. It's gonna be rough but I always feel better after I do this!!

Where's my Jennie atttttt????

~Mel

Sunday or Monday start?

I'm disgusted with myself today, and literally just dragged my ass to blog.

Trying to decide whether or not to start the master cleanse tomorrow or Monday.

Hmmmm.....

http://themastercleanse.org/

*sigh*

SMH.

Mel

Wishywashy.

I hate when I start something, and then I try to start it again, and then I just don't get back into it. I used to make excuses...sure, I've got plenty of them right now. But I'm not going to sugar coat anything anymore, I'm really and truely just pissing myself off.

My friend Jill (AKA the owner of my fave whole foods store, Wild Thyme, who also has a degree in nutrition) came back from Barbados today (lucky ducky was there for a month). This chick is Barbie doll gorgeous, and it's because she eats whole foods, all the time, takes time to take care of herself (ie excercise), and cleanses frequently.

Yes, cleanse. Most people krinkle their nose. She convinced me to do it with her.

Most of the time when I start something new, I'll take a few days to really calorie-load - to boost my metabolism....and to get my cravings out of the way. Not going to do it this time. I'm starting the Master Cleanse on Monday for 14 days, to get rid of the toxins in my body, and then am going to commit to a whole foods/partial raw (and alcohol free) diet for my weight loss. (Yes, she is leaving me for Barbados again on 12/31, but promised to coach me from afar.)

I can't express how beyond frustrated I am at this point. But I'm also NOT happy. I've got to get over the excuses. I know that this is a major task to take on right in the throws of the holidays, but I've never been one to back down from a challenge, and Jennie had better kick my ass if I do.

I feel defeated...but I'm going to use that as motivation. After all...wallowing in feelings like this is just going to lead to staying where I am, which is not a happy place. So....I can sit on my ass and have a "woe is me" attitude, or I can do something about it. Guess what I choose?

This is my December....

I can't believe it is December!! That means I have six months to REALLY workout hardcore....On June 25, 2011 I am going to be a maid of honor in a wedding and will be wearing watermelon pink (ok I am also albino so this will look weird anyway) but I don't want to be the big girl in a pink dress so terrifying!  I will also be traveling this summer to Georgia with my boyfriend to meet his best "online" friend and his girlfriend and I want to be the "trophy" girlfriend which is pathetic but it will make me feel better to look good.  So here we go my plans are to get back on track...


Up the water!!!!
Less snacking unless its fruits or vegetables
Avoid all desserts or sugars at all cost (which will be my hardest accomplishment because they are the love of my life....what I would do for a cupcake!!)
TOTALLY up the workout....I think I am going to have to workout twice a day to really get myself motivated for change

Here is the true problem: It is so easy to say you are going to do stuff to change but actually doing those things are a completely different concept.  I always say oo I'll work out later then I get home from teaching and just want to pass out...That's gotta change!! Need my girly!


-Jenzy