Red wine. Tempeh. Tofu noodles.

STRESS.

So here is a dirty little secret of mine. When I get stressed...I can't keep anything down, or I just don't eat. I'm not talking everyday "Oh my god I need gas in my car" stress, I mean the big ones. With my mother in law passing this past Friday, I have not consumed ANYTHING....well, anything that has stayed in my body.

Usually, this would make me happy. Yay, I lose 5 pounds without thinking.

Nononononono wrong mindset, Mellie.

Without calories, your body's metabolism slows, and when you start eating again, it freaks out and acts as if its the only nutrition its ever going to have, ever, EVER again. And stores everything.

Since I can't stop things from happening (couldn't prevent someone from dying, now could I?)...how do I reset this (no pun intended) gut reaction that I have to extreme stressors?

I am not bulemic by any means (hell, I'd have a lot better body)...but I really wish that my metabolism didn't have to go through this roller coaster everytime something happens.

Oh, and as for the title of this post...it's what I attempted to make for dinner...and threw away. IDK why I put it up there.

Mehrawr. :(

It's been awhile.....

 I feel like this little square box has been haunting me...I have been bad about updating what's going on with me and the blog knows it!!! Here's a fun recap of my five days off...I worked too much, ate too much and saw lots of people that I adore.  In that statement lies my ultimate problem, being in good company means eating good food (that is not so good for you).  I have been making some good small steps to change my life and am really happy to be where I am...I know once I finish these last busy weeks of school that I want more of a normal routine of working out and such but for now I will do my best

Here's some good things I have to add:

**Vitamin E has been making my hair so nice in the passed week+ I have been using it** (feels fuller and softer)

**I crave water more which to me is a good sign because even though I do drink soda sometimes it is totally not as much as I used to***

** I came back to my aunts house that is completely decorated from head to toe in Christmas Decorations and it truly makes me happy/inspired**

Jenzy :)

The only thing you can do when you fall off the horse...

...is to climb back up and start riding again, right?

I was totally gung ho about this whole blogging thing - and still am - but when I started to falter (a little), for some reason I stayed away from blogging, making excuses after excuses, having girls nights (aka alcohol), cheating on my diet and not logging it into LiveStrong...just typing this right now is pissing me off. I've disappointed myself. I lost 6 pounds and should have been happy in that, and that should have been motivation to keep going. But I'm an emotional eater, and Thanksgiving, and an opportunity to hang out with friends...it was the perfect storm of calorie consumption.

The good thing is that I am ever the fan of the mulligan. As my mom says, "you can start your day over as many times as you need to." So, I'm starting over. Again. With Zumba! (Yes, that's right, I ordered the set of DVD's and they just came yesterday. Perfect timing!)

BTW, if you are looking for some workout DVD reviews (including the Zumba set I ordered), check out Carin Lane's Times Union article that reviewed several different kinds of workout DVD's for a gift guide. http://www.timesunion.com/living/article/The-gift-of-health-834343.php

Here's to new beginnings!

Coffee and I are friends again ;)

Day 4 is in the books. Today I decided to let coffee back into my life as the past 3 days have been full of caffeine withdrawl...and headaches. Devin had a half day at school today, and we decided to see Megamind in the afternoon before Tae Kwon Do. I packed a bottle of lemon water, fresh cut veggies and a container of hummus...but did give in and I had a little bit of popcorn. I really don't think it's going to have an impact, but of course, knowing me, I'm paranoid. Started my morning off with a workout as normal - kicked it up a notch on the ab workouts today - really really really want to focus on that area!!! All of my meals until dinner were right on track with how I have been eating...but dinner was Moe's again. I opted for the salad, no shell, no guac, light olives, tofu, and light dressing...but something about it made me sick to my stomach. :( I hope I get better for tomorrow - I really want to hop right on the total gym as soon as I wake up!!!! Bed early tonight....still not feeling well :(

Mel

Day 3=Ew for me

I did really really well all day long....minus not working out, fighting with the boyfriend and eating a cosmo brownie....I have been making up for it all night by drinking extra amounts of water...On a better note I lost 2 pounds since last week so off to a good start just have to avoid the pantry with all the goodies that make me comfortable when I eat them...yes yummy food makes me safe and comfortable

Day 3...

Feeling pretty good! Solved the headache with some morning time caffeine...was able to work out for about 45 minutes this morning then did some ab reps on the total gym in the afternoon. And did some serious manual labor around the house with some power tools. I RAWR'd the whole time :)  Parked my car in the driveway and walked EVERYWHERE....to and from school both times, then to the library, then to cub scouts, then home from cub scouts with a detour to get Devin a slice of pizza (YAY me for not giving in!) I had a bowl of cabbage soup as a snack with a piece of whole grain bread. Whew!!!!

IDK about you, Jennie - but I'm feeling a lot more will power as I know I have to write the truth to you every night LOL.....

Hopefully tomorrow shows a difference on the scale. I broke my rule and stepped on it about 4 times today - usually my weight flucuates about 4 lbs about mid day (post workout, muscles swelling from being used, etc) but it stayed the same. The suspense is killing me hahahaha...

Here's to a successful day 4!

~Mel

Well THIS should be interesting

I mentioned I'm hyper about getting on the scale - and I am obsessive about what goes in my mouth and how it is going to affect my metabolism/water retention/digestion/etc. I also weigh myself daily. This is a BAD combination - it makes me overanalyze and overthink sometimes - other times it leads me to be depressed, and I wind up over eating.

Tuesday's are an automatic "Moe's for dinner" night with my mom. I've been dreading it ALL day - especially because I had my friend Ann over today and we had a lunch date - I made vegan stuffed zucchini and she made raw cookie squares for desert. (Raw meaning made out of raw foods, ie nuts, dates, etc etc...uber good for you) Add a side salad and a half slice of gluten free bread, and it was like dinner for lunch. I was in total heaven.

But now I'm totally freaking out because of the fact that I had Moe's for dinner. I had a burrito - and didn't eat the tortilla - light on the rice, no cheese, light guacamole, the rest was veggies and beans. And I didn't give into my favorite chips. This morning I frontloaded a huge workout (more cardio on the total gym, then did a longer circuit)...I hope I'm ok tomorrow. My weight went down from yesterday and I really don't want to have it all go to waste. Amazingly enough - the plate I just posted is only about 350 calories. And the raw cookies were about 50.

BTW...this was my salad last night - totally awesome. 

I felt better waking up today - I feel ok now - other than the headache, that is!!! Day 3 here we come!!!!

I'm so excited, a little birdie told me Jennie might be home soonishly????? I wonder if this rumor is true!

~Mel

DAY 2! is so much better for you?

Day 2 - Way better than day one for me...I felt so much better after I did my workout video and ran with the dog after school..Normally I am sluggish and fall asleep and eat eat eat after school..instead I went right to working out and then had a small but good snack and ten times better...This is of course hard but totally can't wait for some results...Push me Mel :)

-Jenzy

So this is me swallowing my pride

I just have to post that after day one all I have to thank is the song "Back to December" by Taylor Swift because it makes me sadly happy of what my life could be if I allow myself to live it.  Today was a complete 180 for me in terms of eating habits..I had the ability to say no to things that taste so good to me.  As for exercising I only really got to walk the dog so I'm thinking tomorrow is serious cardio time...Otherwise I am pretty proud of how today went.. Just hoping Mel can push me a bit more

-Jennie

Green flag!

It's day 1. The total gym has made it back into the living room...I just did 20 minutes of cardio followed by what they call an "Intermediate" workout...leg pulls, seated rows, butterflies, squats, crunches, arm pulls, and finally the "stretcher" my favorite of it all. Took about 45 minutes.

I kind of think the thing looks like a death machine. It really is a difficult thing to get onto right after getting out of my warm cozy bed.

Breakfast...egg white omelet with flax meal, nutritional yeast, and spinach. Lemon lime water...yummy.

Whipped up some amazing cabbage soup this morning for lunch...recipe here: Amazing soup I remembered from Weight Watchers ....dipped a slice of ezekiel bread in it, then followed it up with tamari covered edamame.

While eating, I joined the free journalling service on http://www.livestrong.com/ to help keep track of my calorie intake. (Jennie, you have got to try it out!) It has made me realize I need to consume a lot more calories than I do, and I need to restructure where my calories go. This is *such* a struggle being a vegan. However, according to the website, I need to consume 2000 more calories today. I think I need to make some adjustments to my profile!

In other news...I have PMS. Not only do I have PMS, but I have a bag of dark chocolate covered almonds in my kitchen that are audibly calling my name. I cannot give in this early in the game!! UGH!

Mel

How did I get here?

I'm 27 years old, and I feel like I've struggled with my weight all my life. I listened too much to too many people when I was younger about what an "ideal" weight was for a person my height. I'm 5'4"...so society says I should be about 120. 130 is considered overweight. I don't think I've been 120 since, oh, 8th grade, and I doubt I will ever see that weight again...and rightfully so. I would look emaciated - and to be that weight would mean lots of muscle loss. As a runner and a tennis player in my high school years, I have ridiculous muscles in my legs - and no matter what excercise regimen I have or haven't participated in since then, I still have these crazy muscles. My core areas of concern...arms, abdominal region, butt, and thighs. My weight loss goal is no where near these "suggested" numbers - but I know that I have chosen a "healthy" weight for myself.

Things you should know about me...in no particular order....

• I'm a vegan...almost. I eat fish and eggs, but dairy and meat are big nonos.
• I'm a single mom who works from home. Tons of time on my hands - I should have no excuses!
• I cook like a fiend. It's the Italian in me. Lately this has morphed into a desire to cook the yummiest food with the most efficient calories possible.
• The weight I want to be is about 5 lbs lighter than I was in my senior year of high school. I was dieting then - I needed to lose a few pounds. I still have my prom dress - and I intend on fitting in it again, not to go to an event, but just to be able to say that I can.
• I really want an excuse to buy all new clothing. There. I said it! :)
• I am obsessed with getting onto my scale. I do it multiple times a day...analysing what it says versus what I've eaten, what I've done, etc etc. Totally unhealthy habit to have. I am going to try, going forward, to only get on the scale first thing in the morning - that's it. No mas, no menos.

So...this is my before picture. I have barely any pictures of my whole body - especially not recently - from being extremely self conscious I mainly stick to headshots.

Hamming it up at the speedway at the end of the season. This is about 2 months ago - I've gained 10 pounds since this picture was taken.

I know I'm going to struggle. Jennie's gonna have to kick my ass - and I'll be happy to return the favor LOL...here we go!!!

Mel

PS - If you visit our blog, please feed our fish at the bottom of the page. They are hungry, and unlike us, do not need to lose weight. <3 And really, it's kind of fun.

It's all downhill from here!

I've known about Jennie for awhile now....like over a year. For some reason, I didn't get to meet her until last month, and we clicked *instantly*.  Somehow, we got to talking about the fact that we both want to lose weight. This, during an IM session as I'm drinking a (large) glass of white wine and eating crackers with tapenade, looking at myself and wondering why I can never stick with anything long enough to make it work. The answer...I have ZERO willpower. Unless someone is there kicking my ass, I get distracted (ooooh shiny objects!) and the rest is history. The idea? To start a blog that Jennie and I both contribute to...to keep on each others butts and hopefully someone somewhere might stumble upon it and be inspired. We each have our own personal weight loss goals and timeframe (mine is to lose 50 lbs by my 10 year HS reunion next summer) and we are going to stick together to help each other get to our happy places.

"The Lighter You Are, The Faster You Go"...to explain, we are not your typical girls...totally and completely in love with racing (and Mustangs!)...credit Jennie for our title! <3 It's gonna be a great ride!!!

Mel

The beginning of it all..

You always hear about those beautiful women that are too chubby but they still have those beautiful porcelain looking faces.  Most people mention all they have to do is lose weight and they would be stunning.  I have always been that chubby girl with a pretty face and it has never changed. Slowly and slowly it’s turned into the “fat” girl with the still pretty face.  I have heard of every single diet and every little trick possible for dieting.  All I want for my life is to be the happy, “healthy” girl who is not self conscious about riding amusement park rides, movie theater seats being too small or ending up in claustrophobic tight situations.  So here is an early start to a new year of serious exercise and dieting, the old fashion way with no crazy liquid methods or crazy eating habits, just pure sweat, tears and joy.  I will also like to mention that this is not a blog that is about me, but the creator who happens to be my new good friend and motivator.  SO together we are going to kick ass and take names and turn into who we really want to be ! This is the Mel and Jennie Story!