Sunday or Monday start?

I'm disgusted with myself today, and literally just dragged my ass to blog.

Trying to decide whether or not to start the master cleanse tomorrow or Monday.

Hmmmm.....

http://themastercleanse.org/

*sigh*

SMH.

Mel

Wishywashy.

I hate when I start something, and then I try to start it again, and then I just don't get back into it. I used to make excuses...sure, I've got plenty of them right now. But I'm not going to sugar coat anything anymore, I'm really and truely just pissing myself off.

My friend Jill (AKA the owner of my fave whole foods store, Wild Thyme, who also has a degree in nutrition) came back from Barbados today (lucky ducky was there for a month). This chick is Barbie doll gorgeous, and it's because she eats whole foods, all the time, takes time to take care of herself (ie excercise), and cleanses frequently.

Yes, cleanse. Most people krinkle their nose. She convinced me to do it with her.

Most of the time when I start something new, I'll take a few days to really calorie-load - to boost my metabolism....and to get my cravings out of the way. Not going to do it this time. I'm starting the Master Cleanse on Monday for 14 days, to get rid of the toxins in my body, and then am going to commit to a whole foods/partial raw (and alcohol free) diet for my weight loss. (Yes, she is leaving me for Barbados again on 12/31, but promised to coach me from afar.)

I can't express how beyond frustrated I am at this point. But I'm also NOT happy. I've got to get over the excuses. I know that this is a major task to take on right in the throws of the holidays, but I've never been one to back down from a challenge, and Jennie had better kick my ass if I do.

I feel defeated...but I'm going to use that as motivation. After all...wallowing in feelings like this is just going to lead to staying where I am, which is not a happy place. So....I can sit on my ass and have a "woe is me" attitude, or I can do something about it. Guess what I choose?

This is my December....

I can't believe it is December!! That means I have six months to REALLY workout hardcore....On June 25, 2011 I am going to be a maid of honor in a wedding and will be wearing watermelon pink (ok I am also albino so this will look weird anyway) but I don't want to be the big girl in a pink dress so terrifying!  I will also be traveling this summer to Georgia with my boyfriend to meet his best "online" friend and his girlfriend and I want to be the "trophy" girlfriend which is pathetic but it will make me feel better to look good.  So here we go my plans are to get back on track...


Up the water!!!!
Less snacking unless its fruits or vegetables
Avoid all desserts or sugars at all cost (which will be my hardest accomplishment because they are the love of my life....what I would do for a cupcake!!)
TOTALLY up the workout....I think I am going to have to workout twice a day to really get myself motivated for change

Here is the true problem: It is so easy to say you are going to do stuff to change but actually doing those things are a completely different concept.  I always say oo I'll work out later then I get home from teaching and just want to pass out...That's gotta change!! Need my girly!


-Jenzy

Red wine. Tempeh. Tofu noodles.

STRESS.

So here is a dirty little secret of mine. When I get stressed...I can't keep anything down, or I just don't eat. I'm not talking everyday "Oh my god I need gas in my car" stress, I mean the big ones. With my mother in law passing this past Friday, I have not consumed ANYTHING....well, anything that has stayed in my body.

Usually, this would make me happy. Yay, I lose 5 pounds without thinking.

Nononononono wrong mindset, Mellie.

Without calories, your body's metabolism slows, and when you start eating again, it freaks out and acts as if its the only nutrition its ever going to have, ever, EVER again. And stores everything.

Since I can't stop things from happening (couldn't prevent someone from dying, now could I?)...how do I reset this (no pun intended) gut reaction that I have to extreme stressors?

I am not bulemic by any means (hell, I'd have a lot better body)...but I really wish that my metabolism didn't have to go through this roller coaster everytime something happens.

Oh, and as for the title of this post...it's what I attempted to make for dinner...and threw away. IDK why I put it up there.

Mehrawr. :(

It's been awhile.....

 I feel like this little square box has been haunting me...I have been bad about updating what's going on with me and the blog knows it!!! Here's a fun recap of my five days off...I worked too much, ate too much and saw lots of people that I adore.  In that statement lies my ultimate problem, being in good company means eating good food (that is not so good for you).  I have been making some good small steps to change my life and am really happy to be where I am...I know once I finish these last busy weeks of school that I want more of a normal routine of working out and such but for now I will do my best

Here's some good things I have to add:

**Vitamin E has been making my hair so nice in the passed week+ I have been using it** (feels fuller and softer)

**I crave water more which to me is a good sign because even though I do drink soda sometimes it is totally not as much as I used to***

** I came back to my aunts house that is completely decorated from head to toe in Christmas Decorations and it truly makes me happy/inspired**

Jenzy :)

The only thing you can do when you fall off the horse...

...is to climb back up and start riding again, right?

I was totally gung ho about this whole blogging thing - and still am - but when I started to falter (a little), for some reason I stayed away from blogging, making excuses after excuses, having girls nights (aka alcohol), cheating on my diet and not logging it into LiveStrong...just typing this right now is pissing me off. I've disappointed myself. I lost 6 pounds and should have been happy in that, and that should have been motivation to keep going. But I'm an emotional eater, and Thanksgiving, and an opportunity to hang out with friends...it was the perfect storm of calorie consumption.

The good thing is that I am ever the fan of the mulligan. As my mom says, "you can start your day over as many times as you need to." So, I'm starting over. Again. With Zumba! (Yes, that's right, I ordered the set of DVD's and they just came yesterday. Perfect timing!)

BTW, if you are looking for some workout DVD reviews (including the Zumba set I ordered), check out Carin Lane's Times Union article that reviewed several different kinds of workout DVD's for a gift guide. http://www.timesunion.com/living/article/The-gift-of-health-834343.php

Here's to new beginnings!

Coffee and I are friends again ;)

Day 4 is in the books. Today I decided to let coffee back into my life as the past 3 days have been full of caffeine withdrawl...and headaches. Devin had a half day at school today, and we decided to see Megamind in the afternoon before Tae Kwon Do. I packed a bottle of lemon water, fresh cut veggies and a container of hummus...but did give in and I had a little bit of popcorn. I really don't think it's going to have an impact, but of course, knowing me, I'm paranoid. Started my morning off with a workout as normal - kicked it up a notch on the ab workouts today - really really really want to focus on that area!!! All of my meals until dinner were right on track with how I have been eating...but dinner was Moe's again. I opted for the salad, no shell, no guac, light olives, tofu, and light dressing...but something about it made me sick to my stomach. :( I hope I get better for tomorrow - I really want to hop right on the total gym as soon as I wake up!!!! Bed early tonight....still not feeling well :(

Mel